Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
