i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
