im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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