Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
