I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
