DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
