So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
