Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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