Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
dude. I can hear the air.
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