so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
