I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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