oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
