that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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