john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
