Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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