and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
