normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
