Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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