How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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