Whod you bang
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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