garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
