weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need to stop coming to work sober
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
