I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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