I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize