I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
