After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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