Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
