no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
