Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
