just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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