what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
