Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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