So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
