don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
