5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
