I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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