Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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