So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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