All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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