Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize