Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
