i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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