Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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