i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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