Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
