NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
