Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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