he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
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