My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
