I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
