I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize