You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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