Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
