How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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