i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
