I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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