Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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