just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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