You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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