My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
