I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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